Toll Booth Willie Lyrics – Adam Sandler

Toll Booth Willie Lyrics

[Car approaches]
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Welcome to Worchester. Dollar twenty-five please.”
[M1:] “Hey how ya doin’ Toll Booth Willie?”
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Good! Thanks fer askin pop!”
[M1:] “Aww that’s great you know considering yer a fuckin’ idiot!”
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch!
I’ll come right outta the booth and fuckin’ whack ya you fuckin’ prick!”

[Another car approaches]
[M2:] “Hey hey Willie! Hows it going?”
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Hey can’t complain pop. Hows ’bout you?”
[M2:] “Oh great great. How much?”
[Toll Booth Willie:] “The state charges a dollar twenty-five pop.”
[M2:] “That’s fine. Now should I give you the money
Or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?”
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Why you fuckin’ hard on!
I’ll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin’ head with a Louise-ville fuckin’ slugger!
Whadya think of that ass fuck!?”

[Another car approaches]
[F1:] “Hi Willie.”
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Oh nice to see ya M’am. Not a bad day huh?”
[F1:] “Well I’m a little lost. Could you help me out?
I hear your the best with directions.”
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Well I know my way around New England.
I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?”
[F1:] “Well I was just wondering exactly which is the best way
To drive up your ass. You know if you’d tell me
I’d appreciate it you fuckin’ prick.”
[Drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] “You fuckin’ bitch! Fuck you!
You forgot to pay the fuckin’ toll you dirty whore!
I’ll fuckin’ drop you with a boot to the fuckin’ skull you cum guzzling queen!”

[Another car approaches]
[M3:] “Hey Willie.”
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Hey how are ya?”
[M3:] “Here’s a dollar twenty-five and go fuck yourself.”
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Dah you fuckin’ prick!
I hope you choke on a fuckin’ bottle cap ya fuckin’ son of a fuck!
Eat shit! Eat my shit!”

[Another car approaches]
[Bishop Nelson:] “Hello Willie. Good to see you.”
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Ahhh Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya.
That was quite a sermon you had the other day.”
[Bishop Nelson:] “Hey well I do my best.”
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Dollar twenty-five Bishop.”
[Bishop Nelson:] “Dollar twenty-five
Willie. Isn’t that the same price your mother charges for a blow job
You piece of dog shit!?”
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Ohhh! Have another one you fuckin’ lush!
It’s not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin’ douche bag!”

[Another car approaches]
[M5:] “Hey!”
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Well hey!”
[M5:] “Yeah do you want the money
Or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?”
[Pays toll and drives off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Well I already heard that one you fuckin’ unoriginal bastard!
Go suck a corn you fuckin’ piece of repeatin’ shit!”

[Another car approaches]
[F2:] “Hi.”
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Oh hi. How are ya?”
[F2:] “Fine thank you. How much is the toll please?”
[Toll Booth Willie:]”For you sweetheart it’s a dollar twenty-five.”
[F2:] “Here ya go.”
[Pays toll]
[F2:] “Thank you.”
[Begins to drive off]
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with that?”
[F2:] “Oh I almost forgot. Thank you so much.”
[Toll Booth Willie scribbling a receipt for her]
[Toll Booth Willie:] “And here ya are.”
[F2:] “Umm do you think you could sign it?”
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Oh uh.. sign it?”
[F2:] “Yeah sign Toll Booth Willie was here.”
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Ok sure. Uhh by the way what is this for?”
[Signing receipt]
[F2:] “Just so I could have proof for my friends that
I met the biggest fuckin’ dip shit with the smallest dick alive.
You understand.”
[Drives off]
[Crumples up paper]
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Fuck you you fuckin’ upity bitch!
I’ll fuckin’ fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front
Of your fuckin’ mothers! You’re gonna die bitch! I’m comin’ outta the booth!”
[Opens the door and runs out of the booth]

[Car screeches and hits him]
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Ooooh! My fuckin’ leg!”
[M6:] “Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!”
[M7:] “Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a
Dried up stinky dick licker.”
[Toll Booth Willie:] “Why you fuckin’ pricks.
I fuckin’ hear every fuckin’ word yer saying!
When this fuckin’ leg heals
I’m gonna kick you guys new fuckin’ assholes!

[Everyone cussing eachother out]

By – Adam Sandler

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