I’m So Wasted Lyrics – Adam Sandler

I’m So Wasted Lyrics

[Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass]
[Joe:] “Hey pal! How ya doin?”
[M2:] “I’m so wasted man.”
[Joe:] “Yeah you are oh ho ho!”
[M2:] “Thanks man.”
[Joe:] “It’s good party huh?”
[M2:] “Oh it’s great man.”
[Joe:] “Hey that’s some good acid huh?”
[M2:] “Oh killer man.”
[Joe:] “Hey my pleasure.”
[M2:] “I’ve never been higher.”
[Joe:] “Oh ho you must be freaking out.”
[M2:] “Acid’s great man.”
[Joe:] “It’s the best.”
[M2:] “Everytime I do acid man I’m so high.”
[Joe:] “Yeah oh you must be flipping out right now.”
[M2:] “This is the best acid man.”
[Joe:] “What are you seein man?”
[M2:] “Oh I that cloud up there man.”
[Joe:] “Whoa”
[M2:] “It’s got a vein in it.”
[Joe:] “Oh-Holy Cow! Really!?”
[M2:] “And it’s bleeding on me man.”
[Joe:] “It’s bleeding on ya? Well watch out!”
[M2:] “Look at my hand man.”
[Joe:] “Yeah?”
[M2:] “It-It’s moving but it’s not moving.”
[Joe:] “It’s not?”
[M2:] “It’s still there but it looks like it’s moving.”
[Joe:] “Hey yeah to you it is.”
[M2:] “I’m so high.”
[Joe:] “Yeah you must be flipping out.”
[M2:] “I’m flipping out off it.”
[Joe:] “Hallucinations man.”
[M2:] “Acid..right.”
[Joe:] “Hey I got some news fer ya.”
[M2:] “I’m seeing stuff man.”
[Joe:] “Yeah yer seeing stuff.”
[M2:] “RIght.”
[Joe:] “Well that’s what happens when you take acid but you know what?”
[M2:] “What man?”
[Joe:] “Uhhh that really wasn’t acid.
That was just a little piece of paper I ripped off of my notebook.”
[Silence]

[M2:] “Wha? It’s probly this weed I’m smokin’ man.”
[Joe:] “Oh that weed.”
[M2:] “That Thai bud man.”
[Joe:] “Whoa.”
[M2: Laughing] “Everything’s hilarious.”
[Joe: Laughing] “That’s funny man. Look at that guy.”
[M2: Laughing] “That’s funny man.”
[Joe: Laughing] “Look at that guy’s hat man.”
[M2: Laughing] “Everything’s funny to me man.”
[Joe:] “Right. Hey how man bones didya smoke? A few joints man?”
[M2:] “I had about four.”
[Joe:] “Whoa that’s a lot of bones to be smokin’ man.”
[M2:] “The whole thing’s man.”
[Joe:] “Yeah you sucked ’em down yerself.”
[M2:] “Ain’t that hilarious!?”
[Joe:] “You didn’t wanna share didja?”
[M2:] “It was great stuff man.”
[Joe:] “Aww yeah hey I got some news on that stuff too.”
[M2:] “Hey what man?”
[Joe:] “That’s the stuff I sold you right?
[M2:] “Yeah right.”
[Joe:] “Yeah”
[M2:] “It’s funny man.”
[Joe:] “Well well uh..”
[M2:] “I’m wasted off it man.”
[Joe:] “Yeah well that’s good. You smoked it right?”
[M2:] “Right.”
[Joe:] “Well that really wans’t weed.”
[Pause]
[Joe:] “No it wasn’t it was pencil shavings in a bag.”
[Silence]

[Joe:] “Yeah.”
[M2:] “Well it’s probably this beer.
This beer I’m drinking man. I must be drunk off it or something.
Ya know I had about eighteen of them man.”
[Joe:] “Whoa oh really!?”
[M2:] “I’m just..wasted off ’em.”
[Joe:] “That’s a lot of beer for a man to drink.”
[M2:] “Man I gotta pea pretty soon man.”
[Joe:] “You didn’t dump ’em out in the woods didja?”
[M2:] “No..no..no.. I drank all of them.”
[Joe:] “Right yeah. I saw you..that’s good. Hey didja eat today?”
[M2:]”No I’m on an empty stomach.”
[Joe:] “Whoa you must be ..yea.. extra buzz for you.”
[M2:] “..And that’s why I’m so wasted off it man it’s like I’m seeing things man.”
[Joe:] “Yeah you can hardly stand man.”
[M2:] “You should take my car keys cuz I can’t drive man.”
[Joe:] “Right right.”
[M2:] “I can barely walk.”
[Joe:] “Hey man you better open those eyes up they’re half shut.”
[M2:] “There’s two of you man. I can’t see anymore man I’m blind!”
[Joe:] “Right.. I got the beers huh? I’m the man right?”
[M2:] “Yeah you are the man.”
[Joe:] “Say it. Say I’m the man.”
[M2:] “Yer da man!!”
[Joe:] “Okay well that beer..”
[M2:] “Yeah?”
[Joe:] “There was no alcohol in that beer.”
[Pause]
[Joe:] “That was non-alcoholic.
So..uhh..again I’m gonna have to bust you on this one.
You’re lying.”
[Silence]

[M2: Mumbling] “I’ll be right back.”
[Joe:] “Ok buddy you go sober up.”
[Walking different directions gun goes off]
[Joe:] “Oh my God! He killed himself! He killed himself!”
[Runs over]
[Joe:] “Oh my God! You killed yerself buddy.”
[M2:] “Yeah I’m dead man.”
[Joe:] “Oh my oh yer dead.”
[M2:] “Yeah I’m dead man.”
[Joe:] “That is awefull.”
[M2:] “There’s a big white light and everything man.”
[Joe:] “Yeah! Well you showed us all man.”
[M2:] “Oh man I’m so peaceful here man.”
[Joe:] “Yeah you see anything weird or..”
[M2:] “My relatives man a big white light and my grandfather’s there and..”
[Joe:] “Ooooh I remember him he’s a good guy.”
[M2:] “He’s still wearing the same clothes and..”
[Joe:] “Hey say hello fer me huh?”
[M2:] “Hey man Joe says hi man.”
[Joe: Chuckling] “Right.”
[M2:] “It’s yeah..My uncle’s here and…”
[Joe:] “Right..right.. Hey I got some news for ya. This is so funny.”
[M2:] “Yeah? What man?”
[Joe:] “Yeah yeah before you go up to heaven.
The gun you killed yerself with that’s the one I sold you right?”
[M2:] “Yeah.”
[Joe:] “Yeah well that was a cap gun.
So there’s no way you could have killed yourself.”
[Pause]
[Joe:] “Yeah that’s right ok.. I’m going back to the party. Ok take care.”
[Walks back]

[M2: Whimpering and crying] “I’m moving to a different town man.”

[Four weeks later]

[Pouring drink]
[M2:] “Oh this beer is great man.
This tequila is really strong man.
It’s got a worm and everything in it man.”
[Buffoon:] “Fuckin’ shit!”
[M2:] “All being in the sun you’re even more wasted.
Fuckin’ shit is right man!
I am totally wasted now man.
I should maybe get an umbrella or something and go in the shade.”
[Buffoon:] “I know a guy who can suck his own dick.”
[M2:] “Yeah I know a guy who can do that too.
He’s the drummer from Molly Hatchet and one night we had two cases of Southern Comfort man.
We were so wasted off it.
I’m serious man.”


By – Adam Sandler

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