I Love You, Guys (Non-Album Track) Lyrics
OCEAN:
What I did there is exactly what you shouldn’t do in this competition. You guys know I love you!
(to MISCHA)
Mischa, I love you! I even pretended to believe in your imaginary fiancé!
MISCHA:
She is not my imaginary fiancé, she is my real fiancé – on my telephone
OCEAN:
I even celebrate your culturally engrained alcoholism… I mean the only reason you’re in the choir is because you stole three boxes of communion wine
MISCHA:
It was my cousin’s birthday…
(proudly)
In my country it is sacred tradition to take drink on birthday!
OCEAN:
Your cousin was in grade four. He had to get his stomach pumped
(to NOEL)
Noel, I love you! You challenged my preconceived notion that all gay dudes are fun to be around!
(NOEL looks directly at the audience shaking his head bemused)
(desperately, to RICKY)
Ricky, I love you! I got you into the choir, even thought you couldn’t talk and were like super sick and made everyone feel sorry for us
(tearfully)
Accessibility for all!
RICKY:
Yeah, then I rode that roller coaster… Thanks
OCEAN:
(to JANE)
And her
(dripping with contempt)
So even that thing gets a vote tonight, huh? But I love her! My song was a cautionary tale of hubris—you guys know I love you!
(angry)
I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I freakin’ love YOU OKAY! So for my real number I’m going to sing about how much I love you guys… This song is simply called “I Love You, Guys”
OCEAN:
I LOVE YOU GUYS-
(The follow spot swings over to NOEL.)
NOEL:
(To the heavens)
Oh, by the dead, withered, gossamer balls of Liberace, make her stop!